I who have never known men explained: Theories, themes & quotes
Reading I Who Have Never Known Men was like stepping into a silent, unforgiving landscape where every page challenged my assumptions, and left me scratching my head about theories of what happened… because there are no concrete answers.
In this post, I'm unpacking the book's themes, probing its theories, highlighting my favourite quotes and flagging a few trigger warnings for anyone unprepared for Harpman’s vision. Let’s dig in and get some possible explanations for I Who Have Never Known Men.
This article will be full of spoilers for I Who Have Never Known Men. Save this article for later, if you haven’t read the book yet, or otherwise feel free to spoil yourself silly if that’s your jam.
I Who Have Never Known Men theories and explanations.
Once you’ve turned the pages of I Who Have Never Known Men, it’s fair to say that probably most of us, find ourselves questioning everything. Are these dystopian souls marooned on an alien world or is this a mirror held up to our own post-apocalyptic Earth? I'm both amused and disturbed by Harpman’s refusal to give us easy answers.
Let’s discuss all the theories that arise after reading this book.
Theory one: Earth was invaded by aliens.
“We’re not on Earth. We are on a planet that rotates every sixteen and a half hours.”
“You think we’re on another planet.”
“Minus fifty! This food was meant to last for a very long time, Maybe fresh supplies didn’t arrive all that often.”
All of the above are direct quotes from the book, so hear me out.
What if aliens kidnapped humans to another planet as part of some grand science experiment? Or, what if they were just unlucky pawns in an interplanetary war, held hostage while aliens and humans were battling it out?
Theory two: It’s a post-apocalyptic Earth.
One intriguing I Who Have Never Known Men theory I've come across is that Earth has become a post-apocalyptic wasteland, and the women have been relocated to another planet as part of a breeding program to repopulate the human race. Meanwhile, the people left in bunkers are being prepped as future colonists for this new world.
This could also explain why the guards are so focused on their gardening books. Perhaps they’re learning how to cultivate food and sustain plant life, essential skills for survival on an unfamiliar planet.
The siren may be the call that the current mission and planet has been abandoned.
Adding weight to this theory is the prevalence of reproductive cancers among the women, which are often associated with radiation exposure. Could this be a sign of Earth's catastrophic downfall and humanity’s efforts to secure its survival?
Theory three: The women in the bunker are the result of an administrative blunder.
“We’re still on Earth. Fifteen or twenty years ago—no less, you can tell from looking at the child—when we were locked up, there was a purpose, they were keeping us in reserve for something. And then a file got lost, the admin workers made sure no one found out, and they carried on guarding us and keeping us alive, but no one was responsible for us. We’re the result of an administrative blunder.”
This is actually a theory floated by one of the women in the bunker, a direct quote from the book.
Theory four: It’s none of the above, but instead, is an autobiography of the author’s feelings after fleeing the war.
The prison where the women are held is how she feels living in fear post-war. The guards didn’t harm them after the initial scare, but the women were still too terrified to speak out, alienated from each other and trapped in a strange, unwelcoming place.
The child’s perspective could be Jacqueline projecting her own experience of wartime, living in fear, squalor and probably wondering if the universe had it out for her.
Got any other theories or explanations you reckon I should I add to this post? Let me know!
Get I Who Have Never Known Men by Jacqueline Harpman here.
I Who Have Never Known Men themes.
The themes in I Who Have Never Known Men go beyond an exploration of our shared humanity. It forces us to wrestle with some pretty unsettling questions about identity, memory, and why we fight to survive even when there’s no hope left to cling to. Here are some of the themes explained, that you can expect to encounter when you read I Who Have Never Known Men.
Search for meaning
Womanhood
Discovery
Friendship
Loneliness and isolation
Absurdity
Intimacy
The value of thinking
The human condition and humanity
Control
Survival
Top I Who Have Never Known Men quotes.
I Who Have Never Known Men is laced with unforgettable quotes that linger in your mind for a long time. Here’s a curated selection of the most highlighted lines, a testament to the story’s profound emotional gravity.
“I was forced to acknowledge too late, much too late, that I too had loved, that I was capable of suffering, and that I was human after all.”
“Survival is never more than putting off the moment of death.”
“I felt a surge of grief, I, who had never known men, as I stood in front of this man who had wanted to overcome fear and despair to enter eternity upright and furious.”
“‘Being beautiful, was that for men?'
'Yes. Some women say that it is for ourselves. What on earth can we do with it? I could have loved myself whether I was hunchbacked or lame, but to be loved by others, you had to be beautiful.’”
“My memory begins with my anger.”
“Perhaps you never have time when you are alone? You only acquire it by watching it go by in others."
“Sometimes, I used to sit under the sky, on a clear night, and gaze at the stars, saying, in my croaky voice: “Lord, if you’re up there somewhere, and you aren’t too busy, come and say a few words to me, because I’m very lonely and it would make me so happy.” Nothing happened. So I reckon that humanity— which I wonder whether I belong to —really had a very vivid imagination.”
13 book club discussion questions.
Harpman’s bleak dystopia is a fantastic one for your book club because of all the discussion and profound thought it can generate. So if you need some inspiration for your I Who Have Never Known Men book club discussion, here are a few ideas.
Let’s say you’re suddenly trapped in a bunker for the next decade. What’s the one completely useless thing you’d miss the most?
The women are trapped, then suddenly free, but does freedom really mean anything when you have no idea what to do with it? What does the book suggest about the human need for purpose?
The protagonist has no experience with love, family, or even friendship in the traditional sense. Do you think this made her stronger, or did it rob her of something essential?
The narrator is nameless. Did this make her more relatable or more distant? If she had a name, would it change the way we see her?
If you were in the narrator’s position, what would you have done differently? Would you have kept searching for answers, or just picked a nice place by the river and called it home?
If the protagonist had somehow learned why they were imprisoned, would it have changed the way she lived her life? Do we need to know the "why" to keep going?
Did this book remind you of anything, for example, other books, movies, real life horrors? What connections did you make while reading?
This book strips away everything, love, history, purpose—and asks, What’s left? So… what do you think? What truly defines a life?
Even in the face of absolute mystery, the women don’t always act as a united front. What does this say about human nature? Do we naturally form hierarchies, even amongst purposeless?
Do you think the novel is ultimately hopeful or nihilistic? What emotions did it leave you with by the end?
You get one message from whoever put these women in the bunker. What does it say?
Imagine the protagonist somehow stumbles into our world. What would be the hardest thing for her to comprehend? The internet? Dating apps? Movies? Something intangible?
The protagonist grows up in an environment with zero cultural references, no books, and no TikTok. How does that shape the way she understands the world? Can you truly develop an identity when there’s nothing to mirror yourself against?
What are the I Who Have Never Known Men content and trigger warnings?
Suicide
Assisted suicide
Cancer
Death
Torture
Murder
Death of a loved one
Guns
Sexism
Grief
Classism
In conclusion, I Who Have Never Known Men is a intricate web of theories, symbolism and unsettling questions about humanity, survival and the "what even is the meaning of life?" thing. Whether it’s aliens, post-apocalyptic breeding programs, or the eerie disappearance of guards, there’s no shortage of mind-bending possibilities to speculate on.
This book is far from your average read. It invites us to challenge everything we think you know and leaves us wondering if maybe the truth is more bizarre than we can even imagine. So throw on your thinking cap, and prepare to get your brain working, while staring into a pit of melancholy. 🥲
